Of Memories and Moonlight
by the-princess-of-asgard
Summary: He is fire and I am ice, and when he holds my hand we are everything beautiful in the world. Set before the events of Thor and from the POV of Loki, this fic is broody and full of memories of a childhood on Asgard. It's going to be full of roses and kisses under the stars, and rated M for later chapters. Individual chapters can be read as one-shots, too. Romance and angst, Thorki.
1. Moonlight and Roses

_(Author's Note: I'm excited about this one, I hope you guys like c: I don't own Marvel or Thor or Loki or anything else I might mention.)_

_He is fire, and I am ice, and when he holds my hand we are everything beautiful in the world._

I sit alone in the garden, watching the moon in silence. I've always liked the moon. Its coolness feels good on my skin, much better than the dreadful, blistering heat of Asgard's sixteen suns. I've never been able to stand the heat the way my fellow Asgardians have, it's just become another way that I am different and separate from my realm's warm, happy children of the suns. It's intriguing how the one lonely moon can be more beautiful than all of the suns combined.

Although, the suns have a beauty of their own, especially in the way their golden glow plays over Thor's golden locks…

I smile and let the thought pass with no more explanation. Sometimes I surprise myself with how much I, a centuries-old prince of Asgard, can act like a child in love. I return to studying the galaxies, forcing myself to name every star and constellation, along with which are visible in other realms as well. Logic is my one constant truth. The library feels more like home than anywhere else, with its cool darkness and the comforting smell of old books coming from the ceiling-high shelves lined with ancient tomes. Many times I've fallen asleep in there, to wake in Thor's bed the next morning. He always tells me that he just "happened" to stumble upon my sleeping form in the library, but I know that he waits up anxiously for me until I fall into slumber, then gently carries me back to his chambers, settling me in his huge scarlet-sheeted bed with a gentle kiss on the forehead. I know this because I've watched him countless times. Watched him through a ball of crystalline fire that I conjure in my palm as he tries to stay awake to retrieve me, eyebrows creased together in a frown and fair eyelashes fluttering. I have pretended to be asleep and looked up at him as he carries me, making sure that no one dares to stare at us or comment on his act. I have seen the way he looks at me when he thinks I don't notice. I love it. I don't like to admit it to him; in fact, I never admit it to him unless he's literally got my back against the wall, but I truly do. I love all his motions and his emotions. I love everything he does and doesn't do, for everything that he is and he isn't; I love him.

I settle idly on the stone bench, drawing my cloak around me out of habit, though I certainly didn't need it. True Asgardian nights are few and far apart, caused by a rare occurrence where the eight other realms manage to block out all sixteen of our suns at the same time, but when they do come, they are long and excruciatingly cold for the hot-blooded Asgardians, who huddle in resplendent furs and indignantly comment on the temperature. It is the only time that you can see the moon from our realm. There hasn't been a true night since Thor and I were merely a few centuries old- about 12 in Midgardian years. Neither of us had ever endured a night before, and I remember sitting in my bed, trying to fall asleep for the first time since the night had fallen, and beginning to shake in terror and letting silent tears trickle down my cheeks. Thor had already fallen asleep in his bed next to mine, and our chambers were dark, but I remember barely being able to make out his form as he shifted when I began to cry. He rolled over towards me, blinking sleepily, and saw my tears glistening in the dark. Silently, he swung his pajama-clad legs off the bed and onto the cold, metallic floors, padding softly over to my bed and climbing under the covers with me without a word. He put his arms around my shaking body, holding me to his already larger chest, and stroked my hair until my sobs died down, reduced to the occasional sniffle. Still cradling me in his hold, he gently leant back until our heads hit the pillows. He rubbed my back in small circles and sang ancient Asgardian songs to me, his tongue flowing like silk over the arcane language, until at long last I fell asleep. We continued that pattern for the rest of those long nights, until the suns finally shone again in our sky. And even when the moon had long since gone away, sometimes we still stole precious moments when one of us would crawl into the other's bed and we would fall asleep in each other's arms again like children.

I study the way the pale moonlight reflects off of my white skin as I curl my fingers into my lap. Idly, I raise one palm as if to cup something floating in mid-air, and take a deep breath as I reach deep into my subconscious. Finding the cluster of pulsing electric-blue energy within myself, I grab a strand in my mind's eye and send it shooting through my bloodstream to my outstretched hand. Cool blue fire curls into life in the middle of my palm, with lightning-like sparks popping out of my fingertips. I close my hand on the fire, and it disappears without a sound. I had learned many tricks with my magic over time, but my real talent lies in battle magic. Even though I am much smaller and slighter than any Asgardian opponent I've ever faced, I never fail to defeat everyone who dares challenge me. Ducking and weaving, sending shoots of light to curl around their ankles and trip them, I had been working on a way to use my opponents' own strength against them since I was a small child. The only person I've ever been beaten by is my own brother, and even then, it's because I find myself going frustratingly soft on him, usually letting him defeat me so that he will be more respected as king when he takes the throne. Also, losing to him in battle usually pays off for me, since he'll get full of arrogance and throw me over his shoulder, carrying me to his bedchambers like a sheep. He'll toss me onto his huge bed and pin me down, growling in my ear as he has his way with me. Anyone else I would never let win, but no, I don't mind letting my brother defeat me at all.

I hear heavy footsteps behind me, and smile to myself as I twist around to greet my brother. He has never been very good at sneaking up on me. No one is very good at sneaking up on me.

I rise from the stone bench with a honest, sweet smile playing across my lips as I see my tall, muscular brother making his way slowly towards me, eyes sparkling with desire. I feel myself nearly blush, and curse my emotions in my head. I'm like a giggling schoolgirl when I'm around Thor. It's honestly embarrassing. To hide my shame, I duck my head and look at the beautiful red roses in the garden bed next to the bench where I had been sitting, their delicate petals soft as the feeling of a lover's eyelashes fluttering against one's cheek. I pluck a flower carefully, and twirl it in my fingers as my brother slowly approaches. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him reach out to touch my cheek, and cover his fingers with mine once his hand touches me. Turning, I smile up at him and gaze evenly into his crystal-blue eyes. He is so beautiful, my brother. The most beautiful man in all of Asgard, I think.

He studies me intently, searching deep into my eyes, and once he realizes I'm all right, he smiles and cups my face gently in both hands, leaning in to kiss me. My eyelids flutter shut, and I lean eagerly into his lover's embrace. How I've missed this closeness. I feel all the loneliness that had been building up in me for so many months while Thor was away flooding out of my body, replaced by glowing warmth. That's the only time that I ever feel well and truly thawed all the way through, when I'm cradled in his arms. Leaning back and breaking the kiss, I realize that his arms are bare, and he's shivering slightly. "Aren't you cold?" I murmur, reaching up to thread my pale fingers through his hair.

Thor smiles graciously at me. "I am alright, brother, so long as I have you." He leans in to kiss me again, but I carefully evade him.

"Thor, you're going to freeze if you don't put something on," I chide playfully and reach back to unfasten my cape, which I swirl over his broad shoulders while he gives me a grateful look. I wrap my arms around him and lean into his ear. "Let's go inside," I murmur into his ear, with the promise of so much more behind those simple words. Thor grabs my shoulders to hold me at arm's length, and then, with a mischievous look that I thought belonged only to me, he sweeps me up into his arms and I gasp when I find myself held carefully like a princess, head pressed against his chest and legs draped over one of his forearms, the other wrapped securely against the small of my back and curling around my waist. I snuggle eagerly into him as he carries me back to our chambers, remembering an old Asgardian saying that I had heard when I was just a child, hiding behind my mother's skirts while she talked to the lords and ladies. "Asgardian days warm all of Asgard, but true night warms only the hearts of lovers." Curling closer to my brother, I don't think I've ever heard a truer thing in all my centuries of life.


	2. Secret Smiles and Silent Embraces

_Loving whispers against the shell of my ear; every caress and kiss a never-ending promise. Every sweet touch a new leaf turned over for the both of us._

I gasp as Thor playfully throws me onto his massive four-poster bed, but, my brother being his ever-careful self, he makes sure he carefully catches me an inch above the mattress and lowers me the rest of the way himself. We gaze deeply into each other's eyes, and I swear I can feel him searching through my soul. Thor crawls up onto the bed carefully and straddles my hips, never breaking eye contact. Hesitantly, I reach up to touch his cheek. He looks so glorious like this, blond hair falling into his face, lit from behind by the crackling fireplace. I look at my pale hand on his flushed skin, and marvel silently at the contact. It's such a remarkable thing to be a prince of Asgard, but it's all that Thor and I have ever known. Even as brothers, we are so different. He, tall and broad-shouldered, wielding his heavy hammer with the most brazen of attitudes. I, small and slender, raven-haired and mysterious. Always the opposite, but somehow we fit together so well. We click together like pieces of a puzzle, in the way that he's the only one I trust to hold me at night, in that I'm the only one he will let see him cry. In the way our bodies fit together so perfectly. In his warmth against my cool, his gold and my silver. His fire and my ice. At war with each other, we are equally powerful, but eternally locked in a careful dance of death. But we are so much more when we lay down our weapons and learn to love. To love as only true lovers can, in the basest but truest of animal instincts. Love not only with the body, but with the mind, the heart, and the soul.

I'm startled out of my love-struck stupor by Thor's needy, insistent lips on mine. I kiss him back just as hungrily. I can wax poetic about my childish love later- for now we have some business to accomplish.

Thor's already removed most of his armour while I was brooding, so now he kneels above me dressed in only a tunic and his breeches. Reaching up to thread my fingers through his hair, I marvel at the hard lines of muscle hidden behind the loose folds of fabric covering his chest. Sliding my hands down the sides of his neck, I decide to give him a bit of a treat to cheer him up and light up his darkness. Pushing up against his chest, I roll us over with the decided practice of an acrobat. Thor doesn't resist, although he could easily overpower me at any time. I carefully arrange my knees between the spread of his legs, and bow my head so I can place a gentle kiss on his stomach. He growls in pleasure, and I can feel the sound rippling throughout his entire body, awakening something deep inside of me and edging me on. I ghost my fingertips up the tops of his thighs to grasp the bottom of his tunic, and as I gently pull it towards his chin, I place a careful line of kisses leading through every inch of skin I expose. Reaching his neck at last, Thor grasps his tunic and pulls it off all the way as I explore his collarbones with lips and tongue and teeth, pulling heated moans out of him with every bite and nip, and then soothing it with a wash of my tongue and a kiss. Thor closes his eyes and bites down on his lower lip, knotting his fingers in my black hair, breathing my name with a sigh. I smile against his skin and give him a hard bite for touching me, for not following the rules of our game, but surprising myself, I let him keep his hand there. Every desperate curl of his fingers sends thrills of pure satisfaction rushing down my spine and pooling in a very insistent place between my thighs. I ignore my own arousal and continue making my way back down his body, dragging my fingernails down his chest until they leave red trails in their wake, which make my brother cry out in pleasure but which I don't bother to soothe. I'm too busy carefully unlacing his breeches with my teeth, and then carefully peeling them off his strong frame. Now that he's completely naked and he knows the show is over, Thor is too desperate to do anything but grab me with both hands around the waist and drag me up his body to meet his lips again, settling me on the tops of his thighs. He breaks away from the kiss to lean his forehead against mine, breathing deep and raggedly. "Loki," he growls under his breath.

I smirk, eyes still closed. "So I've been called."

He growls again, more aggressively this time. Leaning back, I quirk an eyebrow at him in the way that I know he hates. True to form, he tumbles forward and bowls me over completely until he's kneeling on top again, biting viciously at my neck as his hands work desperately at my armour. Letting out a quiet gasp, I pass one hand over the front of my chestplate to lift the locking enchantments so he doesn't have to just tear my precious armour apart. Desperately he pulls my chestplate off, leaving me in the same state he had been in mere moments ago, in only a tunic and leather leggings. Thor doesn't bother unlacing these, simply ripping them off in one motion. Exposed and gasping, I claw desperately at his back, leaving more marks of my possession on him. Thor won't let up, still roving his hands over my body and biting me with tenacious fury. Looks like there will be no sweet, starlight lovemaking for us tonight. Well, I'm certainly uttering no complaints on that front.

I struggle to sit up, hoping to regain some control of the situation, but Thor places one massive hand on my chest and pins me down effortlessly as his mouth moves down my abdomen. Gasping, I desperately manage to hook my feet under his arms and pull him back up. Flailing my hands desperately in an attempt to grab him, I manage to stutter out, "Let's be a little more careful down there, shall we? Don't want to leave here tonight bleeding any more than necessary." My brother gives me a devious grin, but complies, placing his hands on either side of me and leaning in for another kiss. Gasping into his mouth, I move my hands south until I brush my fingertips against his hardness and he growls against me. I trail my fingers ever so lightly down his length. It never fails to amaze me that, as big as he is, our bodies always manage to fit together perfectly.

I can feel my own arousal aching painfully at its lack of attention, and I whimper desperately. Thor reaches down between us and, taking both of us into one big hand, starts to stroke gently. A desperate noise I didn't even know I could make seeps out of the back of my throat, and I arch desperately under him, pushing myself as far into his hand as I can, desperate for enough friction to achieve release. Thor swipes his thumb across the head of my aching length, and I gasp as I feel his slicked finger pressing at my entrance. I relax, and it slides in easily. We've spent long enough with each other's bodies that we know exactly what to do. Thor releases his finger gently, and the noise of the slide that it makes is _obscene. _Grasping my hips, he flips me over, parting my legs with a careful hand. I tremble under his touch, even after all this time. He lovingly caresses the curve of my waist and hips, and smooths his hands over my ass. I moan, canting my hips up and back into his hand, and try to reach downward to satisfy myself. He pushes my hand back up to where it had been folded next to my shoulder, and grabbing my narrow hips again, pulls me up onto all fours. I arch my back and spread my legs as tantalizingly as I can, dropping my head like a good little submissive. Apparently it works, because Thor wastes no more time in preparing himself, spitting into his hand and stroking his shaft carefully. He leans his head back and closes his eyes, working himself through his fist, moving quickly. I wiggle backwards on my knees until I'm pressed up against his thighs in desperation, even allowing myself to move in tiny circles for any friction I might get. Thor opens his eyes and smiles down at me, and when I look into his eyes, they glow like embers, blown-black with lust. "Oh, Brother," he whispers, not moving his hands to touch me, and I press harder into him, whimpering. "This is a change, now, isn't it?" He is watching me with lips slightly parted, enchanted by my desperation. "Usually I'm the one begging… but I think I like this better." Thor smirks, a rare expression for him, and moves to trail a line down my throbbing shaft, and I nearly sink to my elbows at the feeling it draws from me. He laughs huskily, a beautiful yet menacing sound that gives me shivers all through my body. I make a feeble attempt to reach between my legs to stroke myself, but he pulls my hand away again, catching my wrist in his hands and placing it firmly back where it was. Leaning forward so his body curves and fits to mine, he whispers into the shell of my ear in a low voice, "That's not how this game works, Loki," biting down on the lobe of my ear until I nearly scream from the pure waves of pleasure coursing through my body. "Don't break the rules again or I'll punish you."

Cheekily, I turn my head and bite his lower lip before he even realizes what's happened. His skin flushes, and, rising to his knees again, he grabs me and bends me over his knee like a child, admonishing me with a harsh slap across my ass. I gasp and shiver, not bothering to complain. He keeps going until my squirming goes from pleasured to pained, and then his hand settles on the small of my back, rubbing circles into my skin with his thumb. "I think you've learned your lesson," he says as he bends down and kisses my hair, and I roll off his knee so I can look up at him.

My brother has got his tried-and-true puppy eyes going at full blast, and he's giving me a look so adoringly sweet it would make maidens faint. He reaches down to touch my cheek and smiles. I smile back, and chuckle to myself. Leave it to Thor to go from dominating to candy-sweet in less than a second. I go along with it and let him kiss me softly as he turns to lay over me again, breaking our kiss to look at me lovingly, soft lips slightly parted. I brush a strand of golden hair out of his eyes to tuck it behind his ear, and lean upwards to kiss him gently, placing my hands over his broad shoulders and pulling him towards me. Thor obliges, and lowers himself onto his forearms, so close that I can feel his chest rise and fall as he breathes. He kisses me gently just below my ear, making me gasp and arch against his body. Pressing kisses against my jaw, he reaches between us and guides himself to my entrance, and I arch once more as stars explode behind my eyelids. Tilting my hips up so his length hits the perfect spot, I start rolling my hips against his, and he starts to move too, slowly and sweetly, his lips still on my neck, whispering words that I can't quite hear. One of his hands presses against the small of my back and pulls my entire body flush against his, and I relish the contact as we rock gently against each other. This is my favourite kind of closeness with my brother; the kind of closeness that's more than just animalistic rutting, the kind of closeness that is true lovemaking. Already, I can feel warmth coursing through my veins, making my fingertips tingle. My arousal is trapped between our bodies, being rubbed slowly between us, so my climax is building up slowly like an avalanche. Thor presses harder into me with every motion, knowing how close I am from the way my insides quiver around him. I dig my fingernails into his shoulders, pulling him closer, and he moves his kisses up to just below my ear, whispering quiet words of encouragement to me. The feeling of him filling me up and holding me so tenderly is all too much. I let out a cry and spill over our stomachs. Thor rocks against me once, twice, and then holds me tighter as he finds his own release, and I feel delightfully squirmy and warm inside as he pumps me full of his seed, claiming me as his own. I turn my head to kiss him, and for a while, we lay together, panting into each other's mouths, sticky with sweat and come, Thor slowly growing soft inside me. Eventually he gently pulls himself out, and the noise it makes is deliciously obscene.

"I love you, brother," he says in his delightfully husky voice, and looks deeply into my eyes as he runs his fingers through my ebony hair.

"I love you too," I whisper to him, and kiss him softly, hoping he can taste all my feelings for him behind that one simple kiss. He smiles against my mouth and curls his arms carefully around me. I lean against him, shutting my eyes and letting out a sigh, as he picks me up like a maiden and carries me off to the baths.


End file.
